Popular media personality Shade Ladipo has come to the defense of her colleague, Roby Ekpo, after he faced public mockery for speaking openly about challenges in his marriage.
In a strongly-worded statement, Shade called out the hypocrisy she observed in how society treats men who choose vulnerability over silence. Her message struck a chord with many Nigerians who have witnessed the contradictory expectations placed on men in our society.
The Double Standard Nigerian Men Face
“We ask men to do better, then laugh at them when they talk about their experience,” Shade pointed out, highlighting a troubling pattern in Nigerian discourse around masculinity and emotional expression.
For years, conversations about mental health and emotional wellness have emphasized the importance of men being more open about their struggles. Activists, relationship experts, and mental health advocates have repeatedly urged Nigerian men to break free from toxic masculinity and express their feelings.
Yet, when men like Roby Ekpo actually take that brave step, the response is often ridicule rather than support.
Why This Matters for Nigerian Society
The backlash against Roby Ekpo’s candid discussion about his marriage troubles reflects a deeper cultural contradiction. On one hand, we claim to want progressive men who communicate their emotions. On the other hand, we shame them when they show any sign of vulnerability.
This creates an impossible situation: men are damned if they stay silent (accused of being emotionally unavailable) and damned if they speak up (labeled as weak or ridiculed for airing their issues publicly).
Shade Ladipo’s intervention brings this hypocrisy to light at a crucial time when conversations about masculinity in Nigeria are evolving.
The Courage to Be Vulnerable
Speaking about marital problems publicly takes significant courage, especially in a society like ours where “washing your dirty linen in public” is considered taboo. Nigerian culture traditionally values privacy in family matters, making Roby’s openness even more significant.
Rather than dismissing or mocking such vulnerability, perhaps we should recognize it as a step toward healthier conversations about relationships, mental health, and the pressures men face.
What Shade’s Defense Teaches Us
Shade Ladipo’s defense of her colleague serves as a reminder that real change requires consistency. We cannot champion emotional openness for men while simultaneously creating an environment where they’re punished for practicing it.
If we truly want Nigerian men to “do better,” we must create safe spaces where they can share their experiences without fear of becoming internet jokes or WhatsApp group fodder.
The conversation Shade has sparked is one Nigeria needs to have—about empathy, accountability, and the kind of society we’re building for future generations.
What are your thoughts on this? Should men be more open about their struggles, or are some things better kept private? Share your views in the comments.
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