Summary: Nigerian father calls out men who support married men cheating but condemn women for the same behaviour. His viral post has sparked heated debate about gender double standards in relationships.
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A Nigerian man has stirred up serious conversation online after publicly challenging men who apply different moral standards when it comes to infidelity—depending on whether a man or woman is the offender.
Jimoh Noah Onaolapo, a married father of four, didn’t hold back when he took to Facebook to address what he sees as blatant hypocrisy among Nigerian men. His target? Those who enthusiastically defend married men who cheat, citing biology and culture, but quickly turn around to rain fire and brimstone when a married woman is caught doing the same thing.
The Double Standard That Won’t Go Away
In his now-viral post, Onaolapo pointed out the glaring contradiction in how society treats male and female infidelity. Many Nigerian men routinely excuse cheating husbands with the age-old line: “Men are polygamous in nature.” They’ll tell you it’s “just how we’re wired” or that “one woman can never satisfy a man.”
But let a married woman step out of line? The same men will be the first to brand her every name in the book—ashawo, runs girl, disgrace to womanhood. Suddenly, all that talk about “nature” and “biology” disappears.
“What Happened to ‘Polygamous in Nature’?”
Onaolapo’s question cuts straight to the heart of the matter: If men justify their cheating by claiming it’s in their nature to desire multiple partners, why the outrage when women exhibit similar behaviour? Are women not also human beings with desires and choices?
His post has resonated with thousands of Nigerians who are tired of the selective morality that pervades discussions about relationships and fidelity in our society.
The Real Issue: Accountability
What Onaolapo’s intervention highlights is not necessarily a defence of infidelity—whether male or female—but rather a call for consistency and honesty in our moral standards.
If cheating is wrong (which most would agree it is), then it should be condemned regardless of who does it. If men claim biological excuses for their wandering ways, they cannot then turn around and deny women the same latitude without exposing their hypocrisy.
Nigerians React
As expected, the post has divided opinion on social media. Some men have doubled down on defending the “different standards for different genders” approach, citing cultural and religious reasons. Others have applauded Onaolapo for his courage in speaking truth to the toxic masculinity that often dominates these conversations.
Women, on the other hand, have largely welcomed the intervention, with many pointing out that they’ve been saying the same thing for years—only to be dismissed or attacked.
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, Onaolapo’s message is simple: If you’re going to make excuses for one gender’s bad behaviour, don’t be shocked or angry when the other gender follows suit. And if you genuinely believe in faithfulness and commitment in marriage, then that standard must apply equally—no exceptions, no gender-based escape clauses.
Perhaps it’s time Nigerian men who parade the “polygamous nature” defence took a long look in the mirror and asked themselves: Are we really advocating for moral standards, or just for rules that favour us?
What do you think? Should the same standards apply to both men and women when it comes to infidelity, or are the traditional gender arguments still valid? Share your thoughts in the comments.
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This conversation about gender, morality, and double standards in Nigerian relationships is far from over—and voices like Jimoh Noah Onaolapo’s ensure we keep having these necessary, if uncomfortable, discussions.
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