A Nigerian nurse and former lawyer living abroad has set the internet ablaze with her controversial take on men who travel back home to marry Nigerian women
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A abroad-based Nigerian nurse and former lawyer, Ezinne Ebebe, has thrown a serious gbas-gbos into the online space after making a bold and controversial claim — that only uneducated and unemployed men living abroad make the trip back to Nigeria or other African countries specifically to find wives, with the hidden agenda of turning those women into their personal cash cows overseas.
Her words have since gone viral, splitting opinions sharply across social media platforms, from Twitter (now X) to TikTok, Facebook groups, and WhatsApp family chats.
What Did She Actually Say?
According to Ezinne, men who are truly doing well abroad — career-wise, financially, and socially — have no reason to fly back home to “import” a wife. Her argument is that such men are confident enough to build relationships within their immediate environment.
In her view, it is the ones who are struggling — the ones without good jobs, without papers, without solid footing — who go back home, dress up in borrowed shine, and package themselves as “abroad men” to unsuspecting women and their families. Once they bring these women over, she claims, the women end up working multiple jobs while the man lives off their earnings.
In her words, these men essentially turn their wives into human ATM machines — a harsh but very vivid description that clearly struck a nerve.
Nigerians React — And E Don Scatter
As expected, this kind of statement was never going to land quietly in Nigerian online spaces. The reactions have been swift, passionate, and very divided.
Those who agree say Ezinne is simply stating what many women already know but are afraid to say out loud. Several women in the comments section shared their own personal experiences or those of people close to them — women who relocated abroad only to find themselves trapped in difficult situations, working round the clock while their husbands contributed little or nothing.
Those who disagree — particularly many men — have called her statement a sweeping generalisation and an unfair attack on hardworking Nigerian men in the diaspora. Many argued that countless men abroad work legitimate jobs, build real homes, and marry women from Nigeria out of genuine love and cultural connection, not financial exploitation.
Others pointed out that the reverse also happens — women who use men for visa opportunities and residency papers, only to abandon the marriage once they are settled.
The Bigger Conversation This Opens Up
Whether you agree with Ezinne or not, her statement has touched on something many Nigerians have whispered about for years — the power dynamics that sometimes play out in diaspora marriages, particularly when one partner sponsors the other’s relocation.
The “abroad husband” narrative is deeply embedded in Nigerian culture. For many families, a daughter marrying someone based in the UK, US, Canada, or Europe is seen as a major achievement — a ticket to a better life. But this perception, some argue, can make young women vulnerable to exploitation by men who exploit that desire.
At the same time, many genuinely loving, hardworking Nigerian men abroad do return home to find life partners — often because they want someone who shares their values, understands their culture, and connects with them on a deeper level that transcends geography.
So, Who Is Ezinne Ebebe?
Ezinne Ebebe describes herself as a Nigerian nurse currently based abroad, and a former lawyer. She is known for sharing candid, sometimes controversial opinions on relationships, the Nigerian diaspora experience, and women’s empowerment. Love her or hate her, she clearly knows how to start a conversation.
The Bottom Line
This debate is far from black and white. As with most relationship matters, context is everything. There are indeed men who abuse the power that comes with being the “sponsor” in a cross-border marriage — and that needs to be called out. But there are also thousands of genuine, loving couples whose love stories began right here in Nigeria before continuing abroad.
What is clear is that Nigerian women — both at home and in the diaspora — are increasingly refusing to stay silent about their experiences. And that, at the very least, is progress.
What do you think? Is Ezinne speaking hard facts or is she painting everyone with the same brush? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
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