Many couples are entering relationships completely unprepared — and one woman is speaking out about the missing ingredient nobody wants to talk about
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A Nigerian woman has sparked an important conversation online after sharing her candid thoughts on why so many relationships and marriages are crumbling today — and her message is hitting close to home for a lot of people.
According to her, the root of the problem is simple but deeply overlooked: many people are walking into serious commitments without involving God, and without doing the inner work required to sustain a healthy union.
The Hard Truth Nobody Is Saying
In a society where wedding ceremonies have become elaborate Owambe festivals — complete with Aso-Ebi, live bands, and enough jollof rice to feed an entire local government — the focus has shifted dangerously away from what actually makes a marriage work.
“A lot of people go into marriage and relationships without including God,” she stated plainly.
And honestly? Many Nigerians are nodding their heads in agreement.
Faith Is Not Just for Sundays
For many Nigerian families, church, mosque, or traditional spiritual practices are central to daily life. Yet somehow, when it comes to choosing a life partner or navigating relationship challenges, that same faith gets left at the door.
The woman’s message is a reminder that spirituality should not be seasonal. If you pray before a job interview, before traveling, before a business deal — why would you not commit your most important human relationship into God’s hands?
Emotional Maturity: The Other Missing Piece
Beyond faith, she also pointed to emotional immaturity as a major reason relationships fail. This is a conversation Nigeria desperately needs to have.
Many people enter marriages still carrying:
– Unhealed childhood wounds from broken homes or difficult upbringings
– Unrealistic expectations shaped by Nollywood storylines and social media highlight reels
– Poor communication habits that turn small misunderstandings into war zones
– An inability to be vulnerable because vulnerability has always felt like weakness
Growing up, a lot of us were never taught how to love healthily. We were taught to endure, to manage, to “carry our cross” — but rarely how to communicate, set boundaries, or choose a partner wisely.
Before You Say “I Do,” Ask Yourself These Questions
If her message resonates with you, here are some honest questions worth sitting with:
1. Have you genuinely prayed about this person, or are you just hoping it works out?
2. Are you marrying out of love, or out of pressure — from family, age, or society?
3. Have you addressed your personal emotional baggage, or are you bringing it into someone else’s home?
4. Do you and your partner share core values, not just vibes?
5. Is God truly the foundation of this relationship, or just a feature at the wedding ceremony?
The Takeaway
This woman’s words are not meant to judge anyone — they are a genuine call to pause, reflect, and be intentional. Marriage is not a destination you arrive at; it is a daily journey that requires God, maturity, communication, and consistent effort from both parties.
As the Yoruba proverb wisely says: “Ile aye ni ile iwe” — the world is a place of learning. It is never too late to go back to the drawing board, seek counsel, heal, and build something that truly lasts.
Whether you are single, dating, engaged, or already married — the message is the same: do not leave God out of it.
What are your thoughts? Share this with someone who needs to hear it today.
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