A respected Imam and medical physicist from Ogun State breaks down the do’s and don’ts of taking more than one wife — and brothers, it is not as simple as you think.
—
An Ogun State-based Imam and medical physicist, Farouk Alrem Al-Egbaawiy, has sparked serious conversation online after sharing some key rules that govern polygyny in Islam — and one of his points is already generating plenty of wahala in comment sections across Nigeria.
According to the scholar, if a husband loses track of his wives’ rotation — that is, whose “turn” it is to spend time with him — he must apologize to the wife whose time he missed. No forming big man. No sweeping it under the carpet. Say sorry.
—
So What Exactly Is Polygyny?
For those who may be mixing up their terms, polygyny refers specifically to a man having more than one wife* — which is different from polygamy, a broader term. In Islamic practice, a Muslim man is permitted to marry up to **four wives**, but only under strict conditions, the most important being that he treats all of them *fairly and equally.
The Imam emphasized that polygyny is not just a privilege* — it comes with serious responsibilities. He described it as one of the means of seeking *barakah (blessings) when practised correctly, but a source of serious sin when abused.
—
The Rules Oga Imam Laid Down
Here are some of the key guidelines the scholar shared:
1. The Rotation System Is Sacred
Every wife has her designated days or nights with her husband. This is not a suggestion — it is an obligation. Missing a wife’s turn without a valid reason is considered an injustice (zulm) in Islamic jurisprudence.
2. Apology Is Mandatory If You Mess Up
If a husband mistakenly — or carelessly — skips a wife’s turn or loses count, he must apologize and make it up to her. This is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of righteousness. As they say in Yoruba, ẹni tó mọ ẹ̀jẹ̀ kò gbọdọ̀ jẹ ẹ̀jẹ̀ — a person who knows wrong must not do wrong.
3. Equal Treatment Is Non-Negotiable
From housing to feeding, clothing to emotional attention — all wives must be treated equally in matters that are within the husband’s control. Feelings, the Imam acknowledged, cannot always be legislated, but actions absolutely can and must be fair.
4. Polygyny Is Not for the Financially or Emotionally Weak
The Imam made it clear that any man considering this path must be financially stable and emotionally mature. This is not a joke or a flex for the gram. It is a serious commitment that affects real human beings — women with feelings, rights, and dignity.
—
Nigerians React
As expected, Nigerians had plenty to say. Some applauded the Imam for bringing clarity to what is often a misunderstood and misused practice:
> “At least someone is holding these men accountable. Some of them treat polygyny like a free pass to disrespect women.”
Others were more sceptical:
> “Abeg, how many men are genuinely keeping track? Most of them can’t even remember their wife’s birthday, talk less of her ‘rotation.'”
And of course, the humourists were in full force:
> “Lose track ke? My guy needs to download a timetable app at this point.”
—
The Bigger Conversation
What the Imam’s comments really highlight is a broader issue in Nigerian Muslim communities — that polygyny is often practised without the proper Islamic framework. Many women enter these marriages without full knowledge of their rights, and many husbands take on multiple wives without understanding — or caring about — their obligations.
Scholars like Al-Egbaawiy are doing important work by reminding the community that Islam protects women’s rights in marriage, and that a husband who fails in his duties will have to answer for it — in this world and the next.
—
Whether you support polygyny or not, one thing is clear: if you’re going to do it, do it right*. And if you mess up? As the Imam said — *apologize.
What do you think? Should more religious leaders speak openly about the rules governing polygyny? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.
For more information, check buzzUp9ja
Be the first to comment