A bold claim about looks, love, and relationships has sparked serious debate online — and Nigerians have plenty to say about it.
A woman has set the internet on fire after making a controversial claim that men never truly settle for women they do not find physically attractive — and that any man currently with an “unattractive” woman is simply using her for something.
Achieng Njoroge sparked the heated conversation after sharing her blunt opinion online, insisting that men do not compromise when it comes to physical beauty the way women often do. According to her, if a man is with a woman he does not find attractive, there is always an ulterior motive — whether it is money, comfort, convenience, or something else entirely.
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The Claim That Got Everyone Talking
Her argument is straightforward, even if many find it deeply uncomfortable: men are visual beings who will not genuinely commit to a woman they do not find physically appealing. Any relationship where the man is “punching up” in terms of looks, she argues, is transactional on his end.
For her, there is no middle ground. No “he loves her personality.” No “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Just a simple, sharp conclusion — if you are not attractive by conventional standards and you have a man, ask yourself what he is getting out of the arrangement.
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But Is This Really How Relationships Work in Nigeria?
If Achieng thought she was dropping facts, Nigerian Twitter (now X), TikTok, and WhatsApp groups were ready to challenge her at every turn.
Many Nigerians pushed back hard, pointing out that attraction is far more complex than what meets the eye. In a society where concepts like “she has good home training,” “she’s wife material,” “she’s God-fearing,”* or simply *”she has sense” carry enormous weight in a man’s choice of partner, reducing everything to physical appearance feels like an oversimplification.
One popular counterargument making the rounds: “Bros, have you seen some of these couples? The man is clearly the lucky one — and it has nothing to do with looks.”
Others noted that financial stability, emotional intelligence, family background, and spiritual compatibility are factors that many Nigerian men openly admit influence who they choose to be with long-term.
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The “Using You” Narrative — Fact or Insecurity Speaking?
Some commenters agreed — at least partially — with Achieng’s position, noting that in many relationships, imbalances in attraction can lead to power imbalances. If one partner feels they are doing the other a favour by staying, that can breed manipulation, disrespect, and a lack of genuine commitment.
The uncomfortable truth some were willing to admit? There are men who enter relationships for reasons that have nothing to do with genuine love or attraction — and some women may be unaware of this dynamic.
However, critics argued that this applies to ALL kinds of relationships, not just those involving women deemed “unattractive.” Plenty of conventionally beautiful women have been used, cheated on, and discarded — so clearly, looks alone are not the protective factor Achieng seems to suggest.
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What Do You Think?
This conversation touches on deeper issues around self-worth, beauty standards, and what we truly value in relationships. In Nigeria especially, where Nollywood, social media, and cultural expectations constantly shape how women see themselves, statements like this can either be a wake-up call or a damaging reinforcement of insecurity.
The real question is not whether a woman is “attractive enough” to deserve genuine love. The real question is: are we building relationships on honesty, mutual respect, and real connection — or are we all just using each other in different ways?
Drop your thoughts in the comments. Do you agree with Achieng, or is she completely off base?
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