Summary: A UK employment tribunal has thrown out the case of an IT worker who lost his job after telling a female colleague they had met “in his dreams” and bombarding her with romantic messages. The ruling is a strong reminder that the workplace is not a place for unwanted advances — no matter how “spiritual” the excuse.*
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We Nigerians know this type of person very well.
He is the one at the office who will corner you by the printer, lower his voice like he is about to reveal a prophecy, and whisper, “Sister, I had a dream about you last night.” He means it as a compliment. You receive it as a threat.
Well, it turns out this behaviour does not fly in the United Kingdom either — and one IT worker has just learned that lesson the very hard way.
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What Actually Happened?
A male IT worker based in the UK was sacked from his job after he told a female colleague that the two of them had already met — in his dreams. As if that was not enough, he followed up this bizarre declaration with a series of romantic messages that the woman clearly did not ask for and did not want.
When his employer found out, they did what any reasonable organisation should do: they showed him the door.
But rather than reflect on his actions, the man decided to take his former employer to an employment tribunal, claiming he had been unfairly dismissed. He apparently believed that his feelings — or his “dreams” — justified what he had done.
The tribunal disagreed. His appeal was dismissed.
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Why This Story Hits Different for Nigerians
Now, let us be honest with ourselves.
In many Nigerian workplaces, this kind of behaviour is not only tolerated — it is sometimes quietly encouraged. A man pesters a female colleague with romantic messages and people around him say, “Ah, he just likes you na, take it easy.”* A senior colleague makes uncomfortable comments and the advice given to the woman is to *”manage it”* or *”don’t be too serious.”
But what this UK tribunal has made crystal clear is something that progressive Nigerian organisations are also beginning to embrace: unwanted romantic advances at work are not harmless. They are harassment.
It does not matter if the man genuinely believes he is being romantic. It does not matter if he “means well.” What matters is whether the other person welcomed it — and in this case, she clearly did not.
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The “Dream” Defence — A Classic Manipulation Tactic
Let us talk about this “I saw you in my dream” angle, because it is particularly interesting.
Framing an unwanted advance as a spiritual or supernatural experience is a manipulation tactic that many people — especially women — will recognise immediately. It is designed to make the recipient feel like destiny is involved, like resisting would be going against something greater than both of you.
In a Nigerian context, it often comes dressed in religious language: “God showed me your face,”* or *”The Holy Spirit told me you are my wife.” It is meant to sound profound. What it actually does is put the woman in an impossible position — reject the man and risk being seen as rejecting God Himself.
The UK tribunal was not moved by any of this. And rightly so.
Your dreams — whether spiritual, psychic, or plain old wishful thinking — do not give you the right to make a colleague uncomfortable in her place of work.
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What Nigerian Employers and Employees Can Learn
Whether you work in Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt, or anywhere in between, this case carries real lessons:
– HR departments must take harassment complaints seriously. The employer in this case did the right thing by acting decisively. Too many Nigerian companies still look the other way.
– “He’s a good person” is not a defence. Character references do not cancel out harmful behaviour.
– Women should document everything. Screenshots, dates, times — keep records of any unwanted advances so that if it ever gets to a formal complaint, there is evidence.
– Men, read the room. If a colleague has not given you any signal of romantic interest, your feelings — however real they are to you — belong outside the office.
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The Bigger Picture
Cases like this one matter because they push a conversation that Nigeria desperately needs to have more loudly and more openly: workplace sexual harassment is real, it is damaging, and it must have consequences.
The fact that a man lost his job and then still tried to fight it at a tribunal — only to lose again — shows both the importance of employers standing firm and the justice that can come when systems work as they should.
Nigeria’s workplaces are changing. More companies are introducing proper HR policies. More women are speaking up. And slowly, the culture of “just manage it” is being replaced by something better.
Stories like this one — even from far away in the UK — are a reminder of where we need to go.
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Have you ever experienced or witnessed inappropriate behaviour in a Nigerian workplace? Share your thoughts in the comments below — let’s have the conversation.
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