A young woman has gone viral after openly lamenting that men no longer approach her like they used to. In the short clip making the rounds online, she wondered aloud if she was the only one experiencing this sudden quiet on the streets: “Nobody is stopping me anymore. Men no longer ask for my number like before.”
Her honesty struck a chord, and the comments section quickly turned into a town hall. Beyond the jokes and banter, many Nigerians—both men and women—shared similar experiences, hinting that something may be shifting in the dating scene.
Here are a few theories people are tossing around:
– The economy effect: With bills billing, some guys say they’re focusing on survival first. Dating has become expensive—transport, hangs, gifts—everything don cost.
– DM culture: Instead of walking up to someone, many now prefer to slide into the DMs after spotting you online. Offline “hi” has turned to online “hey.”
– Safety and respect: More men are cautious about approaching strangers to avoid coming off as intrusive. Consent and boundaries are louder conversations now.
– City pace: In Lagos, Abuja, PH and co., everyone is rushing. Earbuds in, eyes down, no time to network on the roadside.
– Changing preferences: People are meeting through friends, events, interest groups, and apps—less random street-style toasting, more curated connections.
If you’ve noticed the same thing, you’re not alone. And while attention can feel flattering, it doesn’t define your value. Still, if you want to invite more genuine interactions, consider these gentle, no-pressure tweaks:
– Be more findable: Attend events that match your interests—book clubs, tech meetups, game nights, fitness classes, art shows. Shared vibes spark easy conversations.
– Open body language: A warm smile, brief eye contact, and occasionally ditching the “do-not-disturb” earbuds can make you more approachable.
– Let friends play Cupid: Friends-of-friends intros often lead to safer, more respectful connections.
– Curate your online presence: If you’re open to being approached online, let your profile reflect your interests and personality clearly.
– Start the “hello”: There’s no rule that says you can’t initiate. A simple “Hi, I like your taste in music” can go a long way.
At the end of the day, dating in Nigeria is evolving. Whether it’s economy, etiquette, or algorithm, one thing remains: real connections still happen—just sometimes in new places and with new playbooks.
Have you noticed fewer people approaching you lately? Or are you the one who’s stopped shooting shots? Share your story—na community we dey.
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